• Stephen Fry: But there is only one absolutely surefire medical way of stopping hiccups, and that is -
• David Mitchell: - death.

When was the First World War first named as such?

Name the world’s largest pyramid.

tatzelwyrm:

Renaissance!Mitchell. Everybody should have one!

2 new wallpapers 1920 x 1080.

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Rob Brydon: I have a friend who’s quite short, and he likes to wear vertical stripes because they make him look taller.

David Mitchell: Only when he’s not standing next to anyone. It’s not, it’s not going to make him look taller than a taller man. It’s all relative. It’ll just, it’ll just say there’s a normal sized man next to an enormous man! And oh thank god he’s taken his striped shirt off, it’s actually a tiny man next to a normal man!

Stephen Fry: I’ve missed your angry logic David.

David Mitchell: ..I think it just alternates, doesn’t it? For ages you think, okay vertical stripes make people look thinner, then you say, oh she’s wearing vertical stripes therefore she must be fatter than she looks. Therefore you start thinking, oh she looks fat cause she’s wearing vertical stripes, and so suddenly horizontal stripes start making you look thin because, oh she must be thin or she’d never dare wear horizontal stripes. Then they go, oh horizontal stripes make you look thinner.. oh she must be fat, she’s wearing horizontal stripes!

It’s been a while since I made a Gif.

Stephen

You’d have two billion of these birds. They were just the most extraordinary sight in nature, probably.

David
So they’re shitting whole hills.

Stephen
Yes, absolutely. Can you imagine?

David
Get caught under that and you are dead.

On job interview questions that one shouldn't ask

• Stephen Fry: "What are your weaknesses?" is a common question. You're supposed to say one that is kinda not terrible... Like "I tend to get bogged down by details."
• David Mitchell: "I'm a terrible thief. I love other people's stuff."
• Stephen Fry: "I also can't con - Oh look! There's a squirrel!"
• Phil Jupitus: "Heroin and masturbating. Not necessarily in that order."
• Stephen Fry: "What are your strengths?"
• Alan Davies: "I've got a powerful odour. It'll only get stronger as the day goes on."
• Stephen Fry: You're still wearing your I-don't-want-a-job hat.

myimaginationfailsme:

David Mitchell

Well, I hope when I go mad that someone pretends I’m in charge of a large country and gives me lots of things to sign, rather than just sedates me and sticks me in front of a window.
David Mitchell (via liftednevermore)

comedianswearingpurple:

~Submitted by differentplanet