differentplanet:

‘Alright Robert, I will lend you my pen, if you sign this. Terms and conditions. You acknowledge that you are borrowing my pen and must return it to me as soon as you are finished using it to write down this number. You undertake not to chew the end of my pen at any time while it is in your possession, and you agree only to use the red and green biros, and not the blue and black ones because those are my favorites.’ 

Last night’s WILTY made me think of this