February 2012
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“Well, I hope when I go mad that someone pretends I’m in charge of a large...”
– David Mitchell (via liftednevermore)
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Watchdifferentplanet:
WATCH. you won’t regret it.
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http://illustration-sausage.tumblr.com/post/8224421... →
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The Unbelievable Truth S04E01
David Mitchell: I've just been working out the sum... And I think, roughly, I think in order to have played 2 million rounds of golf, Tiger Woods would have to be thousands of years old.
Reginal D. Hunter: That's a very very amazing ability to make your opinion sound like a fact.
David: Thank you very much.
Reg: You are like my ex-girlfriend really. Very impressive. Very impressive.
Shappi Khorsandi: In what other way is he like your ex-girlfriend?
Reg: Sounds quite authoritative when it really isn't necessary.
David: Look, I don't see why you're having a go at me - I've... I've never tried to have sex with you!
Reg: Well, there's the problem, right there. I think you've nailed it on the head, David.
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An internet troll's opinion should carry no more... →
terameloslove:
Always relevant.
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You got to love him :)
David Mitchell: Why..why did you... what's the story here... what...what ?
Rob Brydon: A disinterested policeman.
David Mitchell: I think you mean uninterested policeman all good policemen are disinterested.
Frank Skinner: Yes good point.
David Mitchell: Not an amusing point.
Frank Skinner: But grammaticaly an absolute belter.
Rob Brydon: What's the difference between dis... what does disinterested mean ?
David Mitchell: Disinterested means impartial, uninterested means bored.
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Reginald D. Hunter: There was a shift of sarcasm in the way you said (that.)
David Mitchell: There's a shift of sarcasm in the way I say everything.
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Henning Wehn: See? Germans are rebellious.
David Mitchell: Yes, in a terrifyingly organized way.
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The Unbelievable Truth - S04E01
Reginald D. Hunter: *reading aloud* In the United States, cats have gone beyond domestication, with several having their own TV shows, underground comic books and product endorsements.
Rhod Gilbert: *buzz*
David Mitchell: Rhod?
RG: I’m gonna go with ‘They’ve gone beyond domestication and have their own TV shows, comic books and things like that.’
DM: No, no they haven’t.
RG: Top Cat!
DM: No, Top Cat’s not a cat, he’s a drawing.
RG: But he’s a drawing of a cat!
DM: Yes, that’s a sort of drawing, not a sort of cat. A tiger is a sort of cat, a drawing of a cat is a sort of drawing.
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*Buzzer*
David: Charlie.
Charlie: Crocodiles smell with their ears.
David: No, they don't, no. I suspect that the thing that crocodiles smell with, however ear-like it might look, would be a nose.
Charlie: It would be combined!
Tony: They've got bloody great big nostrils that stick out of the water!
Charlie: THEY DON'T USE THOSE FOR SMELLING WITH.
Tony: They do!
Arthur: What do they use them for, then?
Charlie: Thinking? I don't know!
David: No, you're quite right, they're just massive thinking holes.
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David: Hijinks could be like a harmless game of charades, or it could be, like, group sex.
Charlie:
David:
Charlie: I'm never going to one of your parties, ever again!
David:
Charlie:
David: ...Why, do you hate charades?
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skippingismagnificent:
David Mitchell saying ‘My...
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David: By the way, I'd like to remind you all that no one has said anything about haircutting with a machine gun other than me. I'm not playing the game, I'm the, the sort of icy host.
Armando: You see yourself in a sort of Anne Robinson figure do you?
David: Yes the kind of, yeah, an Anne Robinson figure, but still partially organic.
Armando: What part isn't organic, just out of interest?
David: My metal penis.
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davidmitchellconfessions:
Confession blogs seem like the “in thing” at the moment, and since a lot of British Comedy-related confession blogs involve the one and only David Mitchell a high number of times, it seems that a David Mitchell Confessions blog sounds like a good idea. If you want to help in administrating the blog, please do send a message! So, yes, submit, dear folks!
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